Rantings of a Black Polemicist

My Barber is Cut

Friday, July 23rd, 2004 | Trivialities | 3 Comments

My current barber first cut my hair right before my wedding day. It looked great and made that day even more special. He does a great job generally, but he doesn’t seem to value my time very much.

Way back, I stopped seeing him for nearly a year because of this. Sometimes he left to pick his wife up from her job in the evenings. He never made his schedule clear to me.

On a few occaisions, I got in just as he was wrapping up what he thought was his last haircut. He’d be visibly annoyed, not even responding when I greeted him. I’d get an 8-minute express cut for the same price that looked like poo. He’d get even more annoyed when I pointed out spots that he’d missed. Often, some substitute barber would be waiting for me. Worse still, sometimes the shop would be locked up at 5:30 with no explanation.

I bought a pair of clippers and started cutting my own hair at that point.

Finally, I started going back around last Christmas. I was self-employed, so it worked out better. I came in at 11am early in the week when I knew he’d be there, reading a magazine, waiting for yours truly.

Now that I’ve gone back to work, time is money. Yesterday was the last straw: I rushed out of the office on my lunch break, fed the parking meter and raced to the shop. It was 12:45. The shop’s curtains were drawn and the door was locked. Odd, I thought. My frustrated tugging at the door brought him outside, and he explained to me that he always leaves around this time to pick up his wife at 1:00, and that he woudn’t be able to cut my hair that day. He was apologetic, but I would have to change my schedule to accomodate him… again. Would I have to take early or late lunches to get a cut now? Can’t a brotha keep predictable hours for his customers?

Why not get an appointment with him, you ask? I’ve tried that. I call ahead just to sit and wait as he cuts a few more heads in front of me. Sometimes I get jumped in line. Sometimes I don’t. I’ve absolutely no insight into the logic behind it.

Barbers should be forced to choose between walk-ins or appoinments. If I make an appointment and there’s someone in your chair, what’s the point? I’m still waiting.

I was referred to a guy that cuts heads by appointment only at his “salon”. After describing my relatively simple hairstyle, he quoted me “$35 and up” for a shampoo and cut. Ouch. My current barber charges only $17.

I don’t care anymore. I now have a standing appointment every Wednesday at 12:30pm to see Yazeed. If is able to respect my time and cut hair, he’s a keeper.

Jennifer Hudson gets the boot.

Saturday, April 24th, 2004 | Trivialities | 26 Comments

I watched on as vocal powerhouse, Jennifer Hudson got the boot from American Idol Wednesday. Unbelievable. In fact, the contestants in the bottom 3 were the strongest performers even by the judges? standards. They also happened to be the only 3 black girls in the competition.

Many have their theories about why John Stevens, who is clearly out of his league, remains in the competition while Amy Adams and now Hudson are out. I don’t think racism is a valid theory. Here’s my take on things:

• The audience is voting for the underdogs. Simon has said that the three “divas” are the best in the competition, while being especially brutal towards Stevens. Maybe people are assuming that the public will already vote for the talent and try to compensate by voting for Stevens because they like his personality. More compensatory votes were cast than those based on merit, leaving the talent in the cold, and in Hudson’s case - off the show.
• People with enough sense to recognize talent also have lives. With other things to do than sit by their phone casting 100 or 200 votes for their favorite performer, they watch the show and move on with their life. The teeny-boppers with virtually unlimited text-messaging cellphone plans do nothing but cast votes until their little fingers are numb.
• Maybe people just don’t care about talent as much as they want to see someone in a particular demographic win. Teenage white girls think John is cute and vote away. All of Hawaii votes for Jasmine. Other suburban homes are in love with Diana. Black folks want to see another black idol, but end up splitting their votes among the three “divas”, hurting their chances for success.

Whatever the reasons, I’m pissed. The competition is quickly becoming a joke, and America is to blame. The biggest flaw in the voting system is that one person can cast as many votes as they want. I’ve voted from my AT&T wireless phone, and you don’t have to wait for an open line to make your vote count. Just text-message away, and your votes rack up quickly. Land line voters are at a distinct disadvantage to wireless voters.

American Idol: Why the less talented remain

Thursday, April 15th, 2004 | Trivialities | 20 Comments

Finally, a reasonable theory has been offered to explain why untalented clowns can remain in the contest, but more talented contestants get booted off. It’s the hacks’ obsessed fans, their “People”, that keep them in the running. Unfortunately, this minority skews the voting results and hurts the integrity of the contest:

“Unlike the general public, which would probably be capable of trimming a list of candidates down to a serviceable pop singer by the end of a season, the People are systematically ruining it for everyone. The People must be stopped.”

If one more person votes for that red-headed Frank Sinatra wannabe John Stevens, I’m going to pull what’s left of my hair out by the roots. After watching The Hobbit, Jon Peter Lewis, pass off his maniacal shouting and dancing as a real performance, I’ve seen it all. Even Simon wondered aloud if the show had become “Comedy Idol”, questioning why the audience gave a standing ovation after the “performance”.

Jon and John won’t go away, and it’s their People’s fault.

Fantasia moved me last night with her version of “Summertime”. That’s it. I’m buying a special video capture device today to start backing up all of her performances to my PC. If she released an album today, I’d buy it without a second thought.

I just hope the rest of the country takes back control, and soon. This season is really about when everyone but Fantasia and Latoya will get booted, so we can have a showdown between the only two real competitors in the contest.

Update: It looks like there may be some justice afterall. Jon Peter Lewis just got booted tonight. Thank God.