Rantings of a Black Polemicist

I think my neighbor’s kid is having a birthday party.

Sunday, May 28th, 2006 | The House | Comments Off

I walked down my driveway to get the mail yesterday, looked up and almost had a heart attack. My neighbors rented a two-story inflatable moonbounce shaped like a birthday cake. There was some kind of birthday party going on.

I hate kids. Especially the kind that have parties.

My crusade against Thundering Bass

Sunday, March 6th, 2005 | Personal, The House | 2 Comments

I loved the nasty weather we recently had here in Philly. Well, I hated the weather but loved that it kept the BP gas station across the street from my house quiet. Or as I call it, Club BP. People stayed home. The few that did come out weren’t in the mood to blast their music while they pumped gas.

The sun came out this weekend and brought with it the audiophilles with which Thundering Bass keeps company. It’s worst when these people are cleaning their cars at one of 4 of the station’s vacuum cleaners. I can actually sit on my porch and watch the little fucker that thinks he’s so cool as he cleans the floormats of his truck.

I’ve got to do something.

So today I went to Staples, bought a bunch of envelope labels and printed a sign on them: “Please be mindful of our neighbors by keeping your car stereo volume low.” When the attendant wasn’t looking, I stuck them to every vacuum cleaner and 9 of the 12 gas pumps. The other 3 were too close to the attendant to risk it. Maybe I’ll stop by next week and pump gas at each of the remaining pumps using my car as cover as I post the rest of my signs.

So far, so good. I know my strategy won’t completely stop Thundering Bass from coming into my home uninvited. But if it reduces the frequency of his visits at all, I feel like I’ve accomplished something.

Update: I went back the next day during rush hour and slapped my sign on the remaining 3 pumps. Success! It might just be my imagination, but Thundering Bass hasn’t been around much in the last 4 days. Coincidence? I hope not.

Coming up for air

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005 | Personal, The House | 2 Comments

The last six weeks have been insane. I’m approaching burnout fast. Better put on the brakes a little.

Work has been a never-ending comedy. I’m so happy I stuck around, you have no idea. Fecal matter has met with the unforgiving blades of the fan and everyone’s diving for cover. Early tomorrow morning I plan to stand on my desk with a bullhorn and yell “See?! I told you so!” Ah, but it’s too late. Did you hear that? That was the sound of another critical deadline whizzing past. The customer is angry. Executives are grumbling. We have a pool going to see when Big Boss will be fired. My money says he’ll be gone by July.

And there’s the house. We’ve finalized our options this weekend and took a peek to see how construction is going. The foundation is already up. I can’t wait.