Rantings of a Black Polemicist

I don’t like them. They’re not terribly fond of me either.

Sunday, June 11th, 2006 | Work | Comments Off

So I started my new job on Wednesday. I got a contract with an e-commerce company that creates online stores for at least 50 major companies.

I’ve only been there three days and already I can’t fucking stand it.

They don’t like me

They don’t seem to think I’m a good fit interpersonally.

I interviewed for a Senior Developer position back in early May. The interview was broken up into two parts: a written technical exam and an interview before a board of 5 mid-level managers.

The Exam. I murdered the written exam in no time, breezing through all but one of the 10 questions. I knew the answer to the 10th question, but refused to answer it because I didn’t want to get pigeonholed into working with the technology it referred to.

The Interview. The five mid-level managers made their way into the room, one at a time. After some awkward small talk, the interview began.

“So we haven’t had a chance to look over your resume. Tell us about your experience.”

You mean I stayed up late last night reading up on your company and you couldn’t even take five minutes to look over my resume before you walked into this interview?

I gave them a quick overview of my experience and they just kind of looked at each other, trying to figure out what to do next. Who should ask the next question? What were they supposed to be asking me about again?

What a bunch of weenies. Since the interview didn’t seem to have any direction, I took control of it and started interviewing them.

“Tell me about what role I’ll be playing here.”

“What technologies are you working with? What software development methodologies do you use?”

Finally, it looked like they’d managed to get their shit together. One of the weenies started asking me about my technical background.

Have you worked with Struts before?

Yeah, six years ago when I was just getting started as a J2EE developer. Why do they want to know this?

How much experience do you have with Javascript?

Enough to know I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a hot poker. This was related to the question I’d refused to answer on the written exam.

Do you know HTML?

Okay, this is going too far. Is this some kind of sick joke? Why do they keep asking me about entry-level skills?

Gasp! They’re already planning to pigeonhole me, aren’t they?! So they’d never bothered to read my resume because they never fucking cared about what I was best suited to do there.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, the interview ended as awkwardly as it had began. One weenie had another meeting he had to run to. Another weenie decided that we’d reached a good stopping point, based on what I’m not sure. They told me they’d be in touch.

The following day, the recruiter that submitted me for the position told me that the board of weenies passed on me because I “wasn’t a good fit interpersonally”.

Whatever. I was only pissed because I’d missed out on the chance to first say that I didn’t want them.

I don’t like them

They didn’t seem to value my knowledge or experience. Respect my mind or get your brains knocked out, bitches.

Later that week, another recruiter contacted me about a position at the same company, much higher up on the totem pole. I’d be a Senior Architect helping the company make the transition from expensive commercial technologies to an open source strategy. It was right up my alley, so I went for it.

An interview was scheduled before the company’s architecture team. This position would report directly to the CTO, with whom the new recruiter that I was going through had pull. They’d seen nine resumes that they liked for the Architect role, but only scheduled an interview with one candidate. Me. The recruiter informed me that this intervew was looking like just a formality, that I was a shoe-in for the position. I was prepared to knock their socks off and start changing the way software is built at this company.

Then came the flip-flop.

The board of weenies couldn’t find workhorse developers fast enough, so they’d changed their minds. They wanted me after all.

Here I was, out of work for nearly 5 weeks. I’d been on six interviews and had 4 other offers fall through despite me being the most qualified candidate in each case. I had to make a split-second decsion. Should I pass on something solid and hope to get the Sr. Architect Position or take the only concrete offer in front of me?

I decided that I wanted both. I accepted the Senior Developer position and kept my interview for the Senior Architect position.

By now, I was submitted to the same company by two different recruiters, which is a big no-no for legal reasons. The fact is, I only applied for the Architect position because the board of weenies first passed on me and my “personality”. Their inability to make a decision and stick with it was quickly complicating things.

On the day of my Senior Architect interview, the Director of Human Resources called me up and informed me that the interview was cancelled because I’d accepted the Senior Developer position. I begged and pleaded for a chance just to interview for the Architect position.

I knew that if I didn’t get this chance, no one at this organization would ever know what I was capable of. I’d be stuck as a low-level web flunky for the entire length of my contract. He refused to let me interview for the Senior Architect position, despite the fact that I was the top candidate. I would be a Senior Developer and like it, understood?

I reported to work on Wednesday, already feeling defeated. If I’d cared, I guess this whole situation would be uncomfortable. I have five weenie bosses that that have already indicated that they don’t like my personality. A couple of them like to put on big fake-ass grins when they see me in the elevator.

You’re not fooling anyone. I can see right through you, weenie.

I’ve officially compromised my standards in order to keep a steady paycheck.

I’ve never felt like such a whore.

Tiffany

Friday, June 9th, 2006 | Disappointment and Disbelief | Comments Off

Wifey and I have two cats: Melanie and Tiffany. Melanie has low self-esteem, but she’s friendly. Tiffany can’t stand the sight of me, but loves Wifey.

I came home from work today and found Tiffany at the door, apparently waiting for Catherine. I swear I saw her give me a disgusted look when she walked away, disapointed to see it was just me.

It’s not cute anymore.

Monday, June 5th, 2006 | Personal | No Comments

There’s a company nearby that offers hot-air balloon rides for $185 per person. They have some nice-looking balloons and it was cute to see people flying less than 100 feet overhead. Excited kids giggling. Passengers waving to their neighbors from above.

Well, it’s not cute anymore.

I snapped this photo from my front porch. No, I don’t have a zoom lens. Yes, this guy was as close to my house as he looks.

Can we fly a little higher, people?