Rantings of a Black Polemicist

“Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina Speaking”

Tuesday, August 10th, 2004 | Personal

I’m already going mad.

Now I remember why I refused to get a job before.

Office politics. I didn’t realize consultants were supposed to “play their position” and let the full-time goons run the show. That wouldn’t be so bad if they actually had a clue. It’s like I’m on a ship with a bad leak. The captain has an elaborate plan for the crew to throw the water overboard with buckets. I step up and politely suggest fixing the leak. I’m ignored and given a smaller bucket. Meanwhile, crew members are praised for how much water they throw overboard. Nevermind fixing the the leak.

How much ice does one need? The guy in the next cubicle likes to pour a big styrofoam cup of ice water every day. That’s fine. But there’s a lot of ice. He likes to swirl the cup around every time he takes a sip. It sounds like morocca player is rehearsing alone. Rattle, rattle, rattle

Keyboard assault. Contrary to popular opinion, slamming each key down as you type out some personal email is not a victimless crime. I may end up spearheading a new victim’s rights organization, Developers Against Malevolent Misuse of Information Technology (DAMMIT(Developers Against Malevolent Misuse of Information Technology) for short).

Looking busy. I’ve got 6 months to do 2 weeks’ work. I’ve been doing job interviews lately, but how many “Doctor’s Appointments” can I pretend to go on?

Paranoia setting in again. Important decisions are made behind closed doors. There’s talk that one of the full-time guys will be “helping out more”, even though there’s no real need for him. Is he replacing someone? The head-goon-in-charge keeps walking past my desk for no apparent reason. Why? At my last job I had a rear-view mirror on my monitor to prevent people from creeping up behind me. It’s harder to do with a laptop, but I’ll figure out something.

The magic is lost. The routine is driving me to the brink of madness. Again, the movie “Office Space” comes to mind.

That didn’t take long.

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