Rantings of a Black Polemicist

Wifey’s Fly Manolos

Friday, June 25th, 2004 | Personal | 4 Comments

The Manolo Blahniks I ordered for my wife came yesterday. God, she’s got great feet. A pair of amazing heels can transform an already gorgeous woman into a goddess, and Blahniks have demonstrated this fact consistently with my wife.

Heels tip a woman’s center of gravity forward, causing her to arch her back and strut with more deliberate steps. Her total profile changes and every part of it is enhanced. A woman that looks amazing feels more amazing, creating a total effect that is worth every penny spent, in my humble opinion.

Heels that are well-made are much more comfortable than their cheap counterparts. My wife remarked that her Blahniks felt so good, it was as if she wasn’t even wearing heels. She’s now looking at the world from a point five inches higher than usual, feeling on top of the world.

Compulsive Shoe Shopping: “Delusony”

Saturday, June 19th, 2004 | Personal | 67 Comments

Oh, shit. I think I have a problem. Usually I’m pretty good controlling impulses but I may have crossed the line here.

Okay, I’m aware that I’m broke. Things are pretty darn tight this month. Yesterday was my wife’s birthday and I (she, it’s her money) coudn’t get her(self) anything nice this year.

I took a look at the shoes I’ve dreamt of getting her all spring. To my surprise, the price has dropped from $495 to $318 with only three sizes available, hers being one of them.

Delusony. The name of the style that I’m dying to see my wife strut around in this year.

Sophisticated shoppers know that this is a precursor to the shoes selling out completely, leaving us always wondering what 2004 would have been like with them. It’s happened twice already. Once in 2001 with a pair of lovely 4 1/2″ black sandals, and a another time last year with a pair of smart-looking daytime Manolos.

Sometimes I have recurring nightmares about them. I’ll be locked in a huge, white walk-in closet with cold marble floors of the same color. I’m standing in the center of the closet, spinning around and the shoes that we never got are on every single shelf. Hundreds of them. I reach out, but my arms are too short. My feet are stuck to the floor, just spinning me. I can only watch the shoes go around and around…

I just ordered the damn shoes online. They’re coming to the house. The money has left my checking account. My mind is racing as I try to figure out what I can auction on eBay to make up for this purchase, yet I know I can’t entertain the possibility of letting go of these lovely numbers forever.

There’s got to be a twelve-step program for people with a shoe fetish. This one is out of control.

Update: Ohmygod. After I finished buying the shoes online there are only two sizes left. I bought the last pair of size 7’s from Neiman Marcus’ online inentory! What a close one. Now, how to pay for them… *thinking*

Looking for a Job

Saturday, June 19th, 2004 | Personal | 26 Comments

I’ve finished the technical “catch-up” phase and have now actively started looking for a job. Things certainly aren’t like were the last time I found myself unemployed in July of 2000. I had no real work experience to speak of and posted my resume on a few job sites. Within a day, I was beating off prospective employers with a stick. Sometimes I’d come home to eight to twleve voicemails a day, each a different recruiter asking to schedule an interview. I landed a job within 10 days paying me nearly 70% more than my previous job.

It’s quite different now. There are jobs, but the ones I want are harder to come by. There seem to be these junior-level flunky-type gigs that I’m being offered, while the senior-level stuff that is actually interesting enough to motivate me to get out of bed and commute aren’t coming so easy.

My old employer, the one that laid me off a year ago, called me back as soon as I announced my availability online. They may have some interesting work for me lined up in early July, but I’m not betting me life on it. I know how these projects can be pushed back, sometimes scrubbed, leaving me standing around with my thumb shoved in an awkward place.

I ran across this dream job posting and talked to the recruiter over the phone to find out if it was real. A Pre-Sales Consultant with my technical background. I’d be writing J2EE code to help a sales team close deals, presenting to potential clients, etc. Wow. With a base salary of $105k + bonuses + commision, we’re talking another 50%. The recruiter was excited to hear about my background and we had a great rapport. I shot him my resume and haven’t heard anything since. Oh well.

I’ve got to get some cash coming in soon. My roof is leaking. My tenant in the upstairs apartment has started collecting the rainwater dripping from the ceiling in a little tupperware container. Bless her heart for even paying rent each month.

Let’s go, people. Melvin needs a job.